Funny Letters / Conversation

A guy having poor English applying for leave!

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.”

Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter’s wedding: “as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave..”

From H.A.L. Administration Dept:“As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.”

An incident of a leave letter: “I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday.”

A leave letter to the headmaster: “As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”

===================================================================================

A love letter from a HR manager to his girlfriend

To
Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M
Sub: Offer of love!
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that,
I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.
Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.

I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
Romeo - HR Manager

===================================================================================

IT'S NOT A TOUCH SCREEN, IT'S A KEYBOARD!

Tech Support: Let's restart the computer and when the computer starts booting up, we'll press F2 to enter the BIOS Setup
Customer: OK.
Tech Support: I hear it restarting, so press F2.
Customer: OK, I am... It's not letting me in the BIOS.
Tech Support: That's OK, we'll try again. Let's restart it and press F2 again.
Customer: OK.
Tech Support: Is it restarting?
Customer: Yes. I keep touching the F2 characters on the monitor, but nothing happens...
Tech Support: Well, that's because you need to press the F2 key on the keyboard, you see?

===================================================================================

Wives Are Such A Big Help

A man who was driving a car with his wife was stopped by a police officer. The following exchange took place. The man says, "What's the problem, officer?"

Officer: "You were going at least 125kmp/
Man: "No sir, I was going 100kmp/h."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 140kmp/h." (The man gave his wife a dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight. "
Man: "Broken taillight? I didn't know about a broken taillight!"
Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that taillight for weeks." (The man gave his wife another dirty look.)

Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."
Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."

The man turned to his wife and yelled, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"
The officer turned to the woman and asked, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"

The wife said, "No, only when he's drunk.

===================================================================================

WHERE ARE MY LITTLE PICTURES?

Caller: I can't find my little pictures (icons).
Tech Support: What pictures?
Caller: One is "my computer," another is like "network neighbor."
Tech Support: Do you have any windows open?
Caller: Yes.
Tech Support: Ok, we need to close those windows.
Caller: Oh, OK.(Everything is quiet for a few moments.)
Tech Support: Are you still there???
Caller: (After a few more moments) OK. I had to walk around the room and close all the windows.... I still can't see my little pictures.