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A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. "Have you any last requests? Asked the chaplain. "Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"

Question . Why are Blonde jokes so short? Answer . So men can remember them.

I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man. Love, to forgive him and, Patience, for his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.

  1. You wake up at 4 O’clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed. 2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access. 4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems. 5. You start using smileys in your snail mail. 6. You find yourself typing “com” after every period when using a word processor.com 7. You can’t correspond with your mother because she doesn’t have a computer. 8. When your email box shows “no new messages” and you feel really depressed. 9. You don’t know the gender of your three closest friends because they have non-descript screen name and you never bothered to ask. 10. You move into a new house and you decide to “Netscape” before you landscape. 11. Your family always knows where you are. 12. In real life conversations, you don’t laugh, you just sa

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VIRGO - The Perfectionist Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Ha rsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic. SCORPIO - The Intense One Very energetic.  Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser.  Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined.  Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional. LIBRA - The Harmonizer Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators.  Very gullible. ARIES - The Daredevil Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confide

Technorati Tags: funny , joke , weird Prove…. 2 / 10 = 2 .. .. .. Art student : Out of syllabus .. .. .. Engineering Student : Question hi galat hai .. .. .. .. Medical student : it’s strange yaar, ye kaise ho sakta hai? .. .. .. .. CA Student :  it is very easy TWO / TEN T-T get Cancelled =WO / EN  Refer Alphabets (W=23rd letter, O=15th letter, E=5th letter & N=14th letter) =23+15 / 5+14 =38 / 19 =2 Chartered Accountants never ask, "Ans kya hai?" They only ask, "Answer kya laana hai?" cheers.............for victory!!!!!!!!!!!

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5 reasons why we prefer Sheela over Munni : 1. BRANDING : Munni is badnaam but sheela is jawaan 2. PLACE OF PERFORMANCE: Munni gyrated in some desi daru ka adda whereas Sheela gyrated in some metropolitan disco bar. 3. DEMAND AND SUPPLY CONCEPT: Munni is offering herself easily (refer line - darling tere liye) so huge supply and demand will be limited. Whereas SHEELA is not available easily.(refer line-mai to khud se pyar jatau and tere hath kabhi na aani) so low supply. Huge demand. 4. DANCE STYLE: Munni repeated age old "latka jhatka." Whereas SHEELA shook her booty wild drumbeats. 5. MATHEMATICAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL ANALYSIS: Munni is sleek(though Indians invented zero...But it doesn't mean we like the zero figure) whereas..SHEELA is voluptuous(thats the perfect graphical representation) :D

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you. ATD: At The Doctor's BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered By Medicare CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center DWI: Driving While Incontinent FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers FWIW: Forgot Where I Was FYI: Found Your Insulin GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low! GHA: Got Heartburn Again HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On? LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out LOL: Living On Lipitor LWO: Lawrence Welk's On NAN: Need Another Nao OMMR: On My Massage Recliner OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas. ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop TTYL: Talk To You Louder TTFS: Too Tired For Sex WAITT: Who Am I Talking To? WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again WTP: Where's The Prunes? WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship 2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain 3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya" 4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die on the first dip 5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson 6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees. And last but not least 7) Half of the rescue boats would be reserved for SC/ST/OBC